Loneliness and connection during the holidays
The festive season is often portrayed as a time of togetherness, joy, and celebration. Yet for many, December can be one of the loneliest times of the year. The dichotomy between the fantasy portrayed in classic holiday films and reality can feel particularly acute and exacerbate feelings of loneliness.
Loneliness doesn’t discriminate. It affects young and old, single and partnered, those with large families and those with none. The Campaign to End Loneliness reports that more than 2 million people in England over the age of 75 live alone, and many experience chronic loneliness.
But it’s not just older people. Young adults, particularly those who’ve recently moved for work or study, can feel profoundly isolated during the holidays. People going through relationship breakdowns, bereavements, or estrangement from family often find December especially difficult.
During the festive period, when social connection is culturally emphasised, feelings of isolation can intensify, leading to a deeper sense of exclusion and low self-worth. There’s also a particular kind of loneliness that comes from being surrounded by people but feeling disconnected. You can be at a family gathering and still feel profoundly alone if the relationships are strained or superficial. This “social loneliness” – the feeling of not being truly seen or understood – can be just as painful as physical isolation.
The good news is that connection doesn’t always mean grand gestures or big gatherings. Sometimes the most meaningful moments come from small acts of reaching out. A phone call to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. A text message checking in on a friend. Volunteering at a local charity or community event. These small acts of connection can be as nourishing for the giver as the receiver.
Communities and organisations are increasingly recognising the importance of tackling holiday loneliness. Many local groups now offer Christmas Day lunches for those who would otherwise be alone.
Churches, community centres, and charities run events specifically designed to bring people together. Online communities provide connection for those who can’t leave home or prefer digital interaction.
Workplaces can play a role too. Recognising that not everyone has exciting holiday plans, and that some colleagues may be dreading the break, can foster a culture of care. Simple gestures – inviting someone to a pre-Christmas lunch, checking in on colleagues who live alone, or being mindful of language that assumes everyone has a bustling family life can make a real difference.
Tips for tackling loneliness during the holidays
- Reach out: If you’re feeling isolated, contact a friend, family member, or neighbour. Often, others are feeling the same and would welcome connection.
- Volunteer: Helping others can provide a sense of purpose and naturally creates opportunities for connection. Many charities need extra hands over the festive period.
- Join community events: Look for local Christmas lunches, walking groups, or seasonal activities. Libraries, community centres, and churches often host events.
- Create new traditions: If old traditions no longer work for you, create new ones. Whether it’s a favourite film, a long walk, or treating yourself to something special, rituals matter.
- Limit social media: If scrolling makes you feel worse, take a break. Comparison truly is the thief of joy.
- Be kind to yourself: Loneliness is painful, but it doesn’t mean you’re failing. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment.
- Seek support: If loneliness is affecting your mental health, speak to your GP or contact services like Samaritans (116 123) or The Silver Line (0800 4 70 80 90) for older adults.
The holidays don’t have to look a certain way to be meaningful. Connection can be quiet, simple, and found in unexpected places. This December, whether you’re surrounded by people or navigating the season alone, remember that your worth isn’t measured by the size of your gathering or the volume of your celebrations. You matter, your experience is valid, and there are people and communities ready to welcome you in.